Today we are going to continue our preaching series focusing on the idea that we need to make time in our daily lives for prayer. Two weeks ago we looked at prayer through the lens of presence, specifically God's omnipresence, as we unpacked the purpose of prayer, the benefits of prayer, and the things we can bring to God in prayer. Last week we spent our time looking at the idea of how God invites all of us to pray and gives us guidelines to help us draw closer to God. Today we are going to look at those areas that can cause barriers between God and ourselves and ways we can work on removing them.
Don't Always Trust Your Eyes!
A fellow by the name of Tim Bruster tells a powerful story about a mom who took her children to a crowded restaurant one day. Her six-year-old son asked if he could say the grace. He prayed: "God is great and God is good, Let us thank him for the food, and God I would thank you even more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!" Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, the woman at the very next table growled loudly: "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. The very idea... asking God for ice cream! Why I never."
Hearing this, the little six-year-old boy burst into tears and he asked his mother: "Did I do it wrong? I'm sorry. Is God mad at me?" The little boy's mother pulled him over into her lap. She hugged him tightly and assured him that he had done a terrific job with his prayer and God was certainly not mad at him. Just then an elderly gentleman walked over to the table. He winked at the little boy and he said: "I know God really well. We visit every day and I happen to know that God loved your prayer. It may have been the best one He has heard all day." "Really?" the little boy asked.. "Cross my heart," said the man. Then he leaned over and whispered into the little boy's ear. Pointing at the woman at the next table who had made the remark that started the whole thing, he said: "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, the mom ordered ice cream for her kids at the end of the meal. The little six-year-old boy stared at his for a moment and then he did something that no one in that restaurant that day will ever forget. He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman at the next table. With a big smile he said to her: "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes and my soul is good already!' The people in the restaurant applauded because that little boy had already learned how to look at others with the eyes of sacrificial love.
Sight (true sight) is always a matter of the heart... not the eyes. That experience could have been a barrier between that little boy and God. But that wise man and loving mother, worked together to show the little boy otherwise. They encouraged that act of sacrificial love. They used positive reinforcement to teach that young man a very powerful lesson that day.
Have You Checked Under the Hood?
How many of you have heard of and like the idea of positive reinforcement? Positive reinforcement is basically being rewarded for doing the right thing versus being punished for doing the wrong thing. Debbie and I try very hard to do this with the boys. We are deliberate about catching them doing the 'right' thing and then making a big deal about it. All with the hopes they will continue to repeat that behavior.
I believe our prayer life to operate in much the same way. When we pray and those prayers get answered, we are eager to keep praying. When those requests get honored and turn out as we asked for, we get excited and our prayer life will blossom. But what do we do and how do we feel when our prayers go unanswered? I have seen many people reduce their prayer time because of this and eventually their prayer life dies. All sorts of questions arise at this point. We wonder if God really hears our prayers. We ask why did God allow this or that to happen? We can begin to wonder if God really cares about us.
Bill Hybels borrowed this outline from another pastor that he uses to help him understand when prayers are not being answered. It goes like this. “If the request is wrong, God says, 'No'. If the timing is wrong, God says, 'Slow'. If you are wrong, God says, 'Grow'. But if the request is right, the timing is right and you are right, God says, 'Go!'"1 So I want us to take some time today and unpack this outline a bit so we can prevent the barrier of discouragement and resentment from growing.
Is this Appropriate?
One aspect we need to consider in our prayer lives is the appropriateness of our requests. When we go to God in prayer, and we have adored God, and confessed our sins to God, all specifically, and we get to supplication part where we ask for help, one of the questions we should ask is, is this request appropriate. Now I know and believe that none of us would ever go to God with an intentional inappropriate request, but we can go unintentionally.
So how can we know if a request is appropriate? Ask yourself four questions:
- Would it bring glory to God?
- Would it advance God's Kingdom?
- Would it help people?
- Would it help me to grow spiritually?2
When looking at your request through this lens, be honest with yourself. There is no harm in making a mistake. There is no harm in an unintentional inappropriate request. Be we have to understand that those requests will likely result in a 'no' from God. If the request is wrong, God will say 'no'.
Is this the Right Time?
Another aspect we can look at is the timing of our request because bad timing can be a difficult thing to overcome.
We love to think we know best, that we know all there is to know about a certain situation and all God needs to do is get in line and listen to us. However, we learn from Isaiah that, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways...As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV).
Remember God knows everything there is know about all situations. God see angles that we cannot see, understands consequences that we cannot imagine, and see bad timing better than we ever will. Jesus loves you enough to spare you agony of bad timing and to spare you the hassle of overcoming those consequences. Just because it is 'no' now, does not mean that it will not be 'yes' later. If the timing is wrong, God will say 'slow'.
Is it Me?
One more thing to consider is that when making requests to God through prayer we also need to be mindful of ourselves. Look, we all sin. And sin is that which separates you from God, yourself, and those around you. And when you are separated from God the connection is broken. Our Scripture lesson James help us understand why this can be problematic in our prayer lives. Listen again.
Those conflicts and disputes among you, where do they come from? Do they not come from your cravings that are at war within you? You want something and do not have it; so you commit murder. And you covet something and cannot obtain it; so you engage in disputes and conflicts. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, in order to spend what you get on your pleasures. Adulterers! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you suppose that it is for nothing that the scripture says, ‘God yearns jealously for the spirit that he has made to dwell in us’? But he gives all the more grace; therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy into dejection. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. (James 4:1-10, NRSV)
Do you see the reminder we are given to examine ourselves. To be humble before God, to not allow sin to separate us from our Creator. God will draw you in, God will protect you, God will exalt you! When you pray, if your prayer is not being answered, maybe God is not telling you 'no', but 'grow'.
Conclusion
Prayer is vital for our lives. It is necessary for our spiritual nourishment. And there are going to be times that we are sincere and honest in our prayers but they do not seem to be getting answered, and that barrier of discouragement begins to grow. This is the whole buildup for what I want to tell you today. Be mindful of that barrier. Use that outline to discern the state of your request. Do not chalk up your prayer to “God is not listening” or “God does not care”. God hears every single one of your prayers. In trial and jubilation, in despair and in triumph. God hears. God cries with you, God celebrates with you. My prayer for all of us that when we pray, we are mindful about the nature of our requests. Instead of letting that barrier of discouragement grow and take root, take a good look at the request and see if instead of silence, God is maybe saying, slow, grow, or even no. God loves you and when your prayer is answered differently than how you envisioned it, remember God has reasons that you may be thankful for later.
[1] Hybels, Bill. Too Busy Not Too Pray: Slowing Down to be with God. (InterVarsity Press, 1998) p. 88.
[2] Ibid, p. 92.
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